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Mar. 1st, 2011

woman shark balloon

obsessed

with this song!

Sara Bareilles - King of Anything

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see

You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

Feb. 28th, 2011

woman shark balloon

punched

right in the ovaries












Damn you http://hotmenwithbabies.tumblr.com/
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Feb. 25th, 2011

woman shark balloon

survey

my name is: Megan
this morning i was: mad that I had to wake up for school
im afraid of: failing
i dream about: life


Have You Ever...
pictured your crush naked?: Yes
been in love: nope
cried when someone died: yes
lied: yeeessss

flowers or candy: Flowers
scruff or clean shaven: clean shaven!
tall or short: middle (is 5'10 too specific?)


With The Opposite Sex...
what do you notice first?: face
last person you slow danced with: whaaaaat? I don't remember. That's kinda sad.
worst question to ask: Anything you really don't want to know

Who...
makes you laugh the most?: Kate-a-late
makes you smile: my nephews
gives you a funny feeling when you see them: yo mama! I actually haven't had that funny feeling in a VERY long time. No currently gives it.
is easier talk to: boys or girls?: girls


Do You Ever...
sit on the internet waiting for someone special to IM you?: no
save AIM conversations?: no
wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: not permanently, but i've had discussions about how it would be fun for a day.
cry because of something someone has said: yeah
pray?: almost every day


Have You Ever...
fallen for your best friend?: I'm realizing that I can never have a guy best friend, because I fall for them first and it just makes it less of a friendship.
rejected someone: si
cheated on someone: no
been cheated on: not to my knowledge
done something you regretted: no
wanted to die: no


Who Was The Last Person...
you talked to on the phone: kris
hugged: my aunt
you instant messaged: Kate or Kris, those are the only ppl i IM
you laughed with: I laughed at Rudy, if that counts


Do You...
color your hair: no
ever get off the computer: yes
habla espanol: little bit
sprechen sie deutsches: no
fight with your parents: not really
have friends you've lost touch with: tons, it's how I roll yo!
feel happy?: yes
wish you could fly away.. far, far away?: no
believe in God?: yes
could you live without the computer?: yes
what's your favorite candy?: crunch and kit kat (im leaning towards dark chocolate now though)
whats your favorite fruit?: bananas
sunrise or sunset?: sunset
what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain? emotional
trust others way too easily?: eff no, I don't trust very many people
are your fingers cold?: ALWAYS, i should see a doctor
coke or pepsi:coke


Final Questions...
I want: new socks
I wish: I got paid today
I love: sleeping
I miss: Murphy
I fear: failing
I hear: the heater
I smell: the rain
I wonder: If everything is going to really work out
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woman shark balloon

smack

I'm in a place right now where a relationship seems appealing, but not enough to go after one. Sometimes I want it, but most of the time i'm just floating by content with how things are. It hits me sometimes though, at weird moments. I saw some guy holding a baby (in a not at all sexy situation) and I felt like my ovaries were punched and all that I could think was "I WANT A HUSBAND AND A BABY!". Which is weird, just weird. Then I have those moments were i'm reminded that I'm a total perv like the rest of the world. I was standing there entirely normal until he took off his button up- the second that shirt came off and all he had was his white undershirt, I got smacked with "HOLY SHIT I WANT THAT". I find people attractive all the time, but for me to say I WANT them, in that way, usually doesn't happen often. I don't know what it was about it, but at that moment I had to look away and try my best not to look awkward because,hey, i'm totally thinking about banging you right now seems like it might make things a little weird. I was trying to hold back that little smile that says "I'm thinking something dirty". He was doing push ups for crying out loud! In his white sexy undershirt with those big muscles. Anyway, it was sudden. I wasn't thinking of him in that light, then BOOM! Instantly attracted. It's just funny to me. I had to text Kate to tell her how big of a perv I was being at the moment. It's probably totally normal (it is) but things are always so sudden for me, they really do feel like punches and smacks.

For example, when I do like someone, it's pretty instant. I see them and instantly like them. For whatever reason,I like them and I fall for them pretty hard. Then one day it's like I get smacked and my brain says "you no longer like this person", and I don't. It's that fast. It makes me nervous when I think about future relationships because I have no problem falling for someone, it's that sudden moment where I realize I just don't anymore. It's kind of scary, how fast I can turn on something. For the most part, i'm beyond dedicated and loyal to things. I'll stick with something for a veeery long time even if it's not the best option. It takes a lot for me to change in that respect. But it can take 1 little thing and I'm instantly turned off from whatever it is. Person wise, I could have liked someone for months and they do one thing I don't like (for example, talk about porn) and IN THAT INSTANT i'm done. It's like I have a switch in my brain. It's on, then it's off, and once it's off, it's off forever. Now this isn't to say that someone always does that one thing. I have had crushes on people for years and even if it's no longer in the forefront, somewhere in me has that tiny little place for them. I always have a tiny little spot for ______ because I did when I was a kid, and there's something about that that stays. But if I have that moment, that one moment of disgust, there's no going back. It's almost a little sad. Sometimes I get mad at myself wondering why I can't just force myself to like a person. Sometime's I've even tried to, but it never feels right. It's weird though, tons of people can do things I don't like and if i care about them, i let an incredible amount of things slide. But sometimes it's just one thing I can't even control. I don't know what it is. I can never say "If you do this I will never like you again" because I don't know what the trigger is. I don't know what it is that can make me be disgusted with them until it happens, and by then it's already done. Do I even make sense? I feel like I do, but that's just because I wholeheartedly understand myself, even if I am unsure of how I got to this subject.

I'm tired of this actually, back to sexy thoughts. WHITE UNDERSHIRTS happen to be a thing for me. Thanks TB for making me realize it. Hands and arms are too. I even caught myself checking out a guys ass as he bent over (ooooops) but turns out it's not that big of a thing for me. Anyway, I can go the whole day not noticing something about someone, then I see you reach for something and suddenly you're the sexiest thing on the planet.

Normal? I think so.

Feb. 8th, 2011

woman shark balloon

feeling

super disconnected from everything/everyone and in general pretty shitty. I can't fall asleep, I can't stay asleep, and when I finally do get to sleep I wake up to find that the day is already over. Bleeeh. Past few days have kinda sucked.
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Nov. 17th, 2010

woman shark balloon

Yes or No survey

Saw this on fb and decided to steal it.

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. Believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming! Nothing is exactly as it seems.

1. Been arrested? --- no

2. Kissed someone you didn't like? --- yes

3. Slept in until 5 PM? --- yes
...
4. Fallen asleep at work/school? --- yes

5. Held a snake? --- yes

6. Ran a red light? --- yes

7. Been suspended from school? --- no

8. Experienced love at first sight? --- no

9. Totaled your car in an accident? --- no

10. Been fired from a job? --- no

11. Fired Someone? --- no

12. Sang karaoke? --- yes

13. Pointed a gun at someone? --- no

14. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- yes

15. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- no

16. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- no

17. Kissed in the rain? --- no

18. Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- yes

19. Seen someone die? --- yes

20. Played spin-the-bottle? --- yes

21. Sang in the shower? --- yes

22. Smoked a cigar? --- no

23. Sat on a rooftop? --- yes

24. Smuggled something into another country? --- no

25. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- yes

26. Broken a bone? --- no

27. Skipped school? --- yes

28. Eaten a bug? --- yes

29. Sleepwalked? --- yes

30. Walked a moonlit beach? --- yes

31. Rode a motorcycle? --- yes

32. Dumped someone? --- yes

33. Forgotten your anniversary? --- no

34. Lied to avoid a ticket? --- no

35. Ridden on a helicopter? --- no

36. Shaved your head? -- no

37. Played a prank on someone? --- yes

38. Hit a home run? --- no

39. Felt like killing someone? --- yes

40. Cross-dressed? --- yes

41. fallen-down drunk? --- yes

42. Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- yes

43. Eaten snake? --- no

44. Marched/Protested? --- yes

45. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- no

46. Puked on amusement ride? --- no

47. Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- yes

48. Been in a band? --- no

49. Knitted? --- no

50. Been on TV? --- yes

51. Shot a gun? --- no

52. Skinny-dipped? --- no

53. Caused someone to have stitches? --- no

54. Eaten a whole habenero pepper? --- no

55. Ridden a surfboard? --- no

56. Had surgery? --- no

57. Streaked? --- no

58. Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- yes

59. Passed out when not drinking? --- no

60. Peed on a bush? --- no

61. Donated Blood? --- no

62. Grabbed electric fence? --- no

63. Eaten alligator meat? --- no

64. Eaten cheesecake? --- yes

65. Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? --- no

66. Killed an animal when not hunting? --- yes

67. Peed your pants in public? --- no

68. Sneaked into a movie without paying? --- yes

69. Written graffiti? --- yes

70. Still love someone you shouldn't? --- no

71. Think about the future? --- yes

72. Been in handcuffs? --- yes

73. Believe in love? --- no

74. Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- yes
Tags:
woman shark balloon

saved draft

Just found this when I tried posting something else from "saved draft". Interessssting. I don't even remember when I wrote this:

I know that because of the feeling in the pit of my stomach, the tiny little ache, that this is leaning towards the unhealthy side. I've branched out. I'm not on twitter as much, my email is backed up to 260 unread messages (that a few months ago would have been read), I've been reading, getting into new things...even still. Even through all of that. I miss it. IMD. So much. It's weird and creepy. When I say I miss it, what creeps me out is that I really do. I really do have that feeling of missing someone. The only problem with that is that it's not someone I should be missing.
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Aug. 30th, 2010

woman shark balloon

statistics

Aug. 29th, 2010

woman shark balloon

conclusions

I think i've come to the conclusion that we both use each other. We use each other to fill a need that we don't say out loud. I also think we are both aware of it. Just until we find someone else, someone real, to fill that spot. We're comfortable. It's safe. It's mutual. I don't think this is a bad thing, It's just interesting.

Aug. 6th, 2010

woman shark balloon

memory

I said my goodbyes and gave my hugs. I got a big hulk hug from Mikey (with a little 'You should eat your vegetables' encouragement. Then he ran away. I walked towards the door and I hear him running back so when I turn around he jumps into my arms. Literally jumps and gives me the biggest hug. I looked at Sheri and Brad and their faces alone said this was significant. As if I needed it though, I already knew. I hugged him extra tight and set him down. He stayed close. My sister said "You should get to bed" and I rubbed his head and said "Yeah, they're going to need those big muscles tomorrow" and went for the door. I told him i'd see him soon and walked out. I almost broke down right then and there. If my sister wasn't there I would have cried like a baby. It broke my heart but it feels good to know I am significant to him. He didn't re-hug my sister. He came running to hug ME one last time. The kid never does that. It was straight out of a movie. I held it together on the way home. I had held it together all week. I was just waiting for a moment alone to let it all out. Then I was sitting on the couch and my parents came home. I started telling them about the night. Then I got to that part and couldn't hold it in. I started bawling. My parents gave me hugs and blah blah blah. It felt good to let it out. I was a tiny bit embarrassed and it was at an unexpected time but I was glad it was out.

I'll never forget that moment. Ever.
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